In the world of dance, it’s easy to fall into the trap of seeking approval from others—whether it’s your teachers, directors, or even peers. A recent post from a fellow dancer reminded me of this tendency, as she shared her experiences of constantly striving to gain the love and approval of “father figures” in her training. I could relate to her story, as dance often encourages a need to please.
From a young age, dancers are taught to listen, follow instructions, and aim to impress. It’s a discipline built on structure, which can be beneficial. But for many, this turns into a habit of people-pleasing—especially when harsh criticism or body-shaming becomes part of the experience. The desire to meet the standards of those in authority can overshadow the reason we started dancing in the first place: the joy of movement.
While discipline is important, constantly seeking validation from your teacher can distort your self-worth. Being the teacher’s favorite doesn’t necessarily guarantee long-term success in dance. In fact, the most successful dancers are often those who learn to love and believe in themselves, regardless of external praise.
It’s crucial to recognize that teachers’ love or approval is often conditional—based on factors like your appearance, performance in competitions, or even how you bounce back from injury. If you let their opinions define your confidence, it can hinder your progress.
The real key to success is self-love. When you release the need for external validation and focus on supporting yourself, your dancing will reflect it. You’ll move with more freedom, joy, and authenticity, which will catch the attention of those who matter—without the need to constantly seek approval.
The most important relationship you’ll have is the one with yourself. Cultivate unconditional love for who you are as both a dancer and a person, and the rest will follow.
